The House of Letters
by scarlet10
Summary: Some weirdo sneaked into the postoffice and stole all the letters of people from HxH!!! Wanna see what's in their heads??? [Rated for some language]
1. Helllooooo?

The House of Letters:  
  
Author's customary babble: Well...since this would be the disclaimer section... Hunter x Hunter isn't mine!  
  
Secondly, uhh...I'm not a romance kind of person so, don't expect much of those 'roses are red' kinda stuff from me. So, just read and review the fic. I'll need all those reviews!!! Thank you!!!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Hello. I am Sneak Peek! I have broken into the post office and stole some VERY valuable stuff...like...ALL the various letters written by our dear Hunter X Hunter characters. You will find some things here highly shocking, intriguing, or...to put it shortly...funny! Let's take a peek at some of them now!!!  
  
A letter from Gon...=)  
  
Dear friends,  
  
I was wondering what you guys have all been doing lately. Well, I'm really bored! I haven't heard from any one of you guys yet! So...whatcha been doing??? Please reply soon!!!  
  
Oh...and by the way, Killua, DO NOT send me those boxes of valentines day chocolates again! People will get the WRONG idea about our frienship...again.  
  
Love, Gon=)  
  
  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
A letter from Killua...=P  
  
Dear pals,  
  
WHY haven't you guys sent me anything yet! I'm hurt!!! =( Anyway, pls. Send me something...as long as it's not the moldy fruitcake Gon made. It made my stomach hurt! Oww!  
  
Hey, that reminds me...did you guys SEE what those writers are planning to do??? They made me and Gon-chan LOVERS!!! ARRR! I'm not like girly Kurapika. =P  
  
Your pal, Killua  
  
And on the other side of the HxH world...  
  
A letter from Kurapika...  
  
Dear all of you,  
  
I do feel we are growing apart. We haven't seen much of each other lately and I'm starting to feel...nevermind.  
  
As I was saying, why don't you people send me something? It would be better if we kept in touch! And also, Killua, I am NOT paying for 200 boxes of Swiss chocolates!  
  
From, Kurapika  
  
Meanwhile, from a far away boarding school...  
  
Dear...uhh, people,  
  
Sorry if I kept out of touch lately. I've been busy. Hey...Kurapika, you said the last time we meet that I should find you a girlfriend right? Well, guess what! I found ya one! She's a real cutie pie too, if I do say so myself...  
  
By the way, PLEASE HELP ME STUDY!  
  
Yours truly, Leorio  
  
Well, how was that? Want more? Wanna hear what their replies are? Stick around for more...HxH hidden letters!!!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Authors customary...: So...do you guys want to read the next one? Let meh hear ya scream!!! Hope fully you do! Review please! =P ( I just love that expression...) 


	2. Oh reeeaaalllyyyy?

The House of Letters:  
  
Authors customary babble: Yeah, yeah, this ain't mine but the great Yoshihiro Togashi's! *Bow*  
  
So, the first one was kind of short. Do you agree with me??? Yeah, it's short. I'll desperately try to make it longer...(if it won't kill me =P) Thanks, Rizzy for the suggestions but I don't think I'll be using it yet! *ducks as Rizzy chucks a machete at him* Well, read the fic, enjoy it, and review please!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Sneak Peek here! Well, I think you all know me already! If in case you *don't*, GO AND READ THE FIRST CHAPTER FREAK! Ahem, anyway, these are some of the new entries I've so cleverly just stole! Let's all read it! (in case you are wondering how I got it and how THEY still manage to receive it, is because I the great one sneaked back and returned the letters)  
  
A letter from Gon:D...  
  
Dear friends,  
  
Huh? What are you saying Killua??? You didn't like my fruitcake??? *Teardrops on page* It took me a whole day to bake it!!! It took me a long time of shopping to get all the ingredients too! =(  
  
Pairing up, you say??? For what? A dance? A party? Tell me!  
  
Kurapika...what's a 'girlfriend'? Is that edible? Is it a toy? If it is...I want one too!!! =D  
  
Love, Gon  
  
---------  
  
And on his BIIIGGG mansion...  
  
A letter from Killua...XD  
  
Dear pals,  
  
NO! I don't like it! Maybe you should call it hardcake instead. It fell on aniki's foot and he nearly fainted! Plus, I almost broke my teeth eating it! AND...I nearly barfed out all my internal organs! Blech! NEVER make a fruitcake EVER again, Gon! The world's just not ready for such a monstrous thing yet!  
  
You were saying, Kurapika??? You feel what? And...my gosh! YOU want a girlf- --oh dear! The world's gonna start falling apart! XP And Reorio??? Studying??? It's a miracle!  
  
Kurapika, PLEASE??? I'm beggin here! I really want the chocolates! Either you buy them, or I call you a girl! Girly Kurapika, Girly Kurapika, Girly Kurapika, Girly Kurapika, Girly Kurapika, Girly Kurapika!!!  
  
Your pal, Killua  
  
----------  
  
On some unknown continent...  
  
A letter from Kurapika...  
  
Dear all,  
  
Really? Leorio, you did??? You didn't try and hit on her? That's a relief! I was afraid I was asking the wrong person.  
  
What's new? Oh yeah! Gon, Killua's right. STOP making that fruitcake! He sent me a piece and even the rats over here WON'T eat it! What DID you do to it anyway? Oh, and it weighs a ton! X(  
  
Killua, I am *not*giving you any more sweets! And what's the big idea about calling ME girly??? You looking for a fight!? Huh, huh???  
  
Gon and Killua pairing? I've seen those fics...and, I have to admit, some of it are pretty good. ;_; Sorry!  
  
From, Kurapika  
  
-----------  
  
Still in an unknown boarding school...  
  
A letter from Leorio...  
  
Dear peeps (people),  
  
She's super HOT! I'm sure you'll *really* enjoy her!  
  
What? Fruitcake? I don get it! :(  
  
People are actually PAIRING GON AND KILLUA UP??? This I gotta see! Send me a picture of the both of ya smooching will ya??? French kissin even!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
And HELP ME STUDY!!! I'm currently flunkin in math! =(  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Leorio  
  
---------------  
  
Since, I, Sneak Peek had the urge to turn over all them fan mail, I found the Gine Riyodan's post too! Let's see, let's see!  
  
A letter from Kuroro Ruciful...  
  
To: People of the world  
  
From: Me, the leader of the Ryodan  
  
Hello. I am writing to inform you people that we, the spiders, are looking for new members. We need the new member to:  
  
Have strong nen power Is willing to get a tattoo on back Not afraid of spiders Know each members v. statistics Willing to sacrifice his/her life for ME Have a cool trademark outfit Weighs at least 45-500 pounds [no more, no less] Must be over 10 yrs of age Must admire/respect/pay homage to me Must be evil/bad/ruthless/cunning/mad/insane/all of the above or extremely handsome or pretty  
  
If you are interested to be part of the Ryodan, please feel free to contact me at 000-00055-55588-88899-9666I-LOVE-KURORO-RUCIFUL-SO-I-WILL-BE-A-PART- OF-THE-SPIDERS-FOREVER.  
  
WARNING: In case you do not fill in any of the necessary requirements, I will feed you to my three-headed dog named Fluffy or I will kill you.  
  
Thank you for your cooperation, Kuroro Riciful, Leader of Gine Ryodan, Danchou, Infamous Theif, Leader, Someone w/ very strong nen, Handsome devil, Devious and Cunning person  
  
Uhh...sorry, I think that was an add...well, that's all the time we have for today! Hope to see ya all soon! I will try and steal as many as I can the next time so...wait for it!!! Thank ye!  
  
~~~~~  
  
A/N:  
  
Weeelll??? How's this? I guess you can say confusing, but its pretty good ne? Comment and stuff, send it to me OR place it in the review panel! If ever you decide to place an unwanted/unhelpful flame...I WILL HAUNT YOU! So anyway, please review! Ja ne!!! 


	3. Hisoka! Oh great!

The House of Letters:  
  
Authors customary babble: If you haven't been reading the previous chapters, you wouldn't know that THIS AIN'T MINE! It belongs to Mr. Togashi!!! XP  
  
Ahem...now that that's over with, I would like to thank all those reviewers who showed me all their support...yeah right! :P Thanks Van Nash, that was really comforting of you! Well, for the rest of you who DON'T know what he did...good for you! But if you're reeeeaaaallllyyy curious...check it in the review panel.  
  
Read, review, and enjoy as usual!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Hello again! I am Sneak Peek! As you all know, it is my job to supply you all ounces...tons of laughter by stealing the HxH characters post! If you want to see more, continue on! I don't need to tell you that!  
  
A letter from Gon..._  
  
Dear...(this part is currently unreadable coz of the HUGE teardrops),  
  
Killua...!!! Humph! Fine! Words cannot truly express my RAGE! Humph! Double humph! (more teardropps make this part unreadable)  
  
Killua and I will NOT be paired up for anything!!! He's mean to me! =(  
  
Ne, Kurapika...WHAT is a girlfriend? Hitting on? Who? What does that mean?  
  
Leorio, I would help you...but I'm just too depressed! Ne, Killua and Kurapika are making fun of me!!! *sniff*  
  
Love,  
  
Gon  
  
----------  
  
Meanwhile in that mansion of his...  
  
A letter from Killua..._  
  
Dear pals,  
  
Oh...I didn't mean to hurt your feelings Gon. =P It was just too much for me to take! Uhh...please don't be mad anymore!  
  
Kurapika, it would look odd if you had a gf! People will think you're a lesbian or something coz...like I said, you look...GIRLY! Hey! Maybe I should just hire that overgrown oaf to find me one too! At least THAT would lessen all those annoying...'Gon kissed Killua' things!  
  
Your pal,  
  
Killua  
  
------------  
  
On a train going...somewhere...  
  
A letter from Kurapika...  
  
Dear all,  
  
'Hot'? Enjoy her? What exactly do you mean by that you pervert? -_- You aren't by any chance trying to set me up with a hooker are you???  
  
Uhh...sorry Gon...I got carried away? Yeah! That cake wasn't THAT bad...err...yeah! Cheer up!  
  
WHAT??? WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, KILLUA??? DO YOU WANNA DIE EARLY??? FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT GIRLY!!! I DEMAND AN APOLOGY *NOW*!!!  
  
Do you guys know WHY I've decided I need a girl? It's coz I found out that...some *people* think that it's *funny* to pair ME up with...Leorio and Killua! Grrr! @#$#$%#$%#!  
  
From,  
  
Kurapika  
  
------------  
  
Still in an unknown boarding school...  
  
A letter from Leorio...  
  
Dear peeps (people),  
  
Hit on her? Well, I tried but...uhh...let's just say I am now sporting a very, VERY painful experience in my head as a reminder of that...  
  
I STILL don't get what fruitcake that is! Can someone PLEASE send me a piece???  
  
Well, I seriously thought that the Gon/Killua thing was good fun, but...PHU- LEESSSEE! Some people actually want to pair ME up with KURAPIKA! That is...ewww! Yuck! Barf! Now I'm NOT gay! :(  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Leorio  
  
-------------  
  
Hahaha! Success! I have just found...(drumrolls for effect)...A Hisoka letter!!! (Fans scream themselves hoarse) I, the great, shall now open it! And read it!  
  
A letter from the joker...Hisoka  
  
Dear dears,  
  
Hi Gon-chan! Aww! Poor Gon-chan! Don't worry, you can dump Killua and go for me! I'm VERY free! Oh and by the way, Killua, send a message for your aniki for me. Tell him to meet me at the bar tomorrow night!  
  
Kurapika? Hmm, Hmm...omoshiroi...very...interesting! So, you actually have a time in which you are interested in the opposite sex as well...Hmm, hmm...interesting. I have some extra hentai magazines here with me. Just give me a call if you ever wanna borrow! =]  
  
You know, I always do hate those Gon/Killua pairings! =( Why can't they pair Gon-chan with me???  
  
The joker,  
  
Hisoka  
  
-----------  
  
Wahahahahaha! In addition to that, guess what else I got! A Neon letter too!  
  
A letter from Neon...  
  
Dear Kurapika and Friends of Kurapika,  
  
Umm...well, Kurapika? Can I stay with you in your house? I ran away from home just now! Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, Pleeeeeaaaassssseeee????  
  
I promise I'll be good! I reaaalllllyyyy promise! I just want to make otosan worried!  
  
Love,  
  
Neon Nostrad =)  
  
Well...that's all I have found so far! Did you guys or gals enjoy time here in the house of letters? If you did, review! If you didn't...GET OUTTA HERE!!! Bye!  
  
~~~~~  
  
A/N:  
  
Hey! This was longer right? Only a bit you say? Well tell me! REVIEW! Of course if you flame me for no reason at all, BEWARE! I WILL REEEAAALLLYYY HAUNT YOU!!! 


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